How can I create an atmosphere of understanding, concern and love as well as provide appropriate boundaries in all areas of my life? For my children, I am constantly grappling with these issues. Creating a safe and loving place for them to grow can sometimes be challenged by theirs and my own poor behaviors. Limits can be pushed and some ugly behaviors from all or some of the parties can be very challenging to deal with, indeed. How can I guide myself to appropriate attitude and behavior when in the grips of a crisis, when the emotions of all parties can be spiralling out of control? Self control of these emotions must be developed to provide for "right" action vs. "unhealthy" responses.
I have learned that when I meditate on a regular basis, and relax and calm my mind, my perception tends to remain rational and real. But when I get away from this practice, and it does require lots of practice, my perceptions can be distorted and my reactions to negative situations become exaggerated. I am not thinking or feeling in a healthy manner when this happens and situations become worse instead of improved.
So it is a constant process of reminding myself to relax, utilizing relaxation strategies, getting enough sleep, meditating on a regular basis, getting enough vigorous exercise and finding balance among my work, my family, and my friends
Being gentle with oneself can be so rewarding. Stopping the negative self talk, accepting failures without falling apart, spending good quality time with supportive and nurturing friends and family, and maintaining a life of discipline as it relates to balance and health, can only help us to be happy and productive beings. And I know this is what we want for our children, with the other members of our families, with our friends and in our worklife.